In the face of ambiguity, one is subjected to the cruelty of having to make out for themselves what is the right and what is not, to choose what to or not to let go. The brutality lies in what one stands to lose when making the necessary decision.
It is almost like choosing between an intensive course of treatment that might not guarantee complete recovery for a terminally ill patient and the resignation to the fact that death is imminent and inevitable and to adopt the palliative approach. The former will probably help buy more time for the patient but living on borrowed time always comes with it a high possibility of a decreased quality of life due to the myriad negative bodily responses to the treatment. And what is supposed to be right in accordance with the Hippocratic Oath – to preserve the purity of life – may actually turn out rather skewed. Going forth with the palliative approach may however allow for a better quality of life but this is at the expense of the duration one gets to live before death overcomes. Alas, it all boils down to choosing which is worth keeping and which is not.
Decision making is brutal, my friend, but it is necessary. Having to constantly be in the gray takes away a part of you that is bright and shiny and worth more than anything in the world to keep. And you know you deserve better than what you’re going through.
can’t agree more! shine on!